be you

five years living in a boarding school indeed a very challenging experience.

i admit that my behaviour turn 180 degrees from innocent to hot-tempered.
yeah, its all because i was super damn tired being the one who got bullied in my primary school.
its not that i was bullied, its just that people really loved to take advantage on me.
i cried a lot for that. yeah.

2008;
tini khalid was my nail and i was the finger. pity her, i easily mad at her.
idk, its just that i'm tired. i dont wanna look weak anymore.
so i show who i really am. actively participated in all the co-curriculum and leadership activities were what i'd done.
-joined basketball
-be a school dancer
-stupid assistant batch leader.

and yeah, that year was a totally a part of my life

2009;
i lost tini. it was true. we only realized how we loved a person until they're being with someone else. we're not in the same class anymore. got new friends, new surrounding, new teachers, new feelings.
i was totally in a self-conflict that year. i just dont understand why do i feel uneasy when i was being friends with them. i was a part of the rule-breaker gang. i was the class monitor of 2 elit, and guess what?

2 elit 2009 was the worst ever, yeah. how awful. i didnt really performed in my academic but i was more to co-cu. pluss, ssp was the home for HKSBP 2009.  i felt like my body was divided. part served for scud, and the another part served for dance club.at the end of the year. something happened. and that led to my first meeting with ainul, raja and nisak.

thats how 2010 started;
at first, i was elected, again, as the class monitor. anndd, i rejected the offer.
i still remember how i cried in front of them :3 hewhewhew
i was quite silent, used to spend my time in class no matter in was saturday or sunday.
jeje and few more realized my changes. nisak agreed to be my mentor for PMR studies. so, i can say that, i spent my time with these four sweet girls. they are quite alim, pandai and totally opposited me.

what surprised me the most was, the senior suggested my name to be the vice captain of emereald for 2011 0.0
*serious tercampak calculator masa tu. dan semua pandang macam, bangun ah sina bangun ah.
i felt like :3 whatttt???

and those times that had really made me into another person.
pmr was sooo badd that we were like we had killed a community.

2011:
the year begun. basketball, prefects thingy, academic, family. whole run into a circle completed my life.
i know nothing but to join everything i can join. that year was hectic.me, nisak, raja and ainul were separated. but we're still meet each other.. awwhh. basketball? we lost. debate dan debat? lost too. band? not as expected. pathetic, so we woke up to complete the revenge of the fallen.

2012:
sometimes, i wanna say this year was the worst. but somehow i felt like that year was totally ASDFGHJKL different, for some reasons. i got to know newwwww peoplee like hell so manyy. 0.0 yeah, theres no success without u. we, amigas really did our best in everything. problems and dilemma come and go like wind.with sweat and tears, we went trough it in our best wayy. yeah,  i started to feel the presence of love and i really hated that feeling. pain and love came alternately. camps and classes had filled my schedule.
and haaa, i had a mental breakdown on that spm week. thanks to wani qiah and azroy for supporting me along the way. love to mawad, faros, nisak, amal ,raja, ainul, diyana, aliah, seri, anis, mira. you guyysss are totally superb. and to this guy, IAZ, i'm sorry, for disturbing your life, AA sorry, we still friends.  its just so wonderful to had wani qiah supported me up until now. thats made me realized that, Allah doesnt give us what we want, but what we need . i dont look merely for looks, but heart that plays the major role.

and here i am, still trying my best to get to know whats the best of me that silent inside.
i admit that i still need to learn a lot. i can never be here without prayers and solat. i know that Allah looks at me everytime, no matter where and what im doing.